Joy
by EleanorKate
Summary: A missing scene from Series 2 when Peter breaks the news of his fitness test to Chummy before they leave for Sierra Leone COMPLETE


**Joy**

Four hours she had waited, finding jobs to do around house, ears pricked for the sound of the door.

He'd hidden it from her, _actually hidden it from her_ and Chummy felt so ashamed. She had always felt that they were a partnership and whilst she might not have appreciated it at first, time had made her realise just how hard he would end up working for her and their family. Sierra Leone, examinations, you name it Peter did it. He did it without question too and as she hovered by the sink watching a blackbird sit on the tall yard wall, the clock ticked ominously behind her.

With each minute passing, the kitchen gleamed and specks of dust ran from her as she pursued them relentlessly with a teacloth as they tried to hide behind pots and packets. Trixie had visited for ten minutes on her way back to Nonnatus just to say 'hello' and down a quick cup of a tea. It was intended as moral support knowing that today was the day but the distraction had not lasted long as duty called. Now however, Chummy was alone again with all manner of annoying thoughts plaguing her.

It had started at two and was to go on until half past four and then however long it would take to get him home. Fitness tests, medical tests. 'Checking the old ticker's still ticking' he'd said with a half-smile last night. Despite the jokes, she knew it worried him that he would let her down and he turned down her offer of moral support. He didn't tell her it would make him too nervous. At least he had Fred there; the man that some may say was almost Chummy's quasi Pa and in her absence, she was grateful.

Chummy had watched too many ticks of the clock too but even when she heard to key scratch in the lock, anticipation hit her like a slap firm and flush in the face. She swallowed and walked out of the kitchen from her spot; the blackbird long gone.

"Well?" she asked, standing at one end of the hallway, tea towel in hand. This was no time for a 'what-ho' or even a 'hello' come to that. Things were far too urgent for such pleasantries.

In silence, Peter had taken off his jacket and was hanging it on the peg. "Did Trixie come?" he asked, knowing she was going to pop in, but he knew full well that sometimes timetables clashed.

"Yes" Chummy responded, heart hammering as she couldn't read him. She watched as he straightened the sleeves of his jumper. "Quick cup of tea and a biscuit…She went about hour ago". Her husband nodded just the once. "Peter, what happened?" Her tone was low and could not belie the worry that was now creasing her face.

She was desperate to know. These tests were the final step to get them on their way to Sierra Leone and her own feelings aside; she knew how important this had become to him too. That outburst of anger she had seen when she found his letter and felt, she might add, diffused quickly but in those few seconds she realised how serious he was about not letting her down. Perhaps then it had finally sunk in how much she had simply ran away with it and not thought how it might go on to affect those around her.

Peter turned and walked towards her with a blank face and took the tea towel off her. Her eyes followed him as he walked into the kitchen past her and folded it up over the back of a chair. Chummy was still stood stock still in the doorway, frame running down her spine. She could only think it was something negative by his frankly quite odd behaviour and for a brief moment, wondered if he it had been so horrific that he had lost his marbles.

Peter came back to her and stood opposite her. Frowning at him, she still wanted to know. "What…happened?!" Her forceful question was filled with anticipation and a little frustration.

She saw a tiny smile and the next moment he stepped towards her, palm briefly caressing her jaw and his lips not quite meeting hers; hovering just as she was expecting a kiss. Her lips twitched, but still he just stayed. Now she was worried. "Peter?" she asked, voice weak and almost pulling away from him as she couldn't focus on his face with him standing so close. Not that she objected to his attention, but she was thoroughly confused; half concentrating on her question and the other half wondering whether he intended to kiss her after all.

"What…happened?" she breathed again. It was an effort to speak. "Tell me!" By now she was getting even more maddened with his silence and she was holding onto his jumper. A second later she felt his lips touch hers, just ever so gently and his hand withdraw from her cheek.

"I promised I'd help Fred move some furniture at Nonnatus before supper" Peter announced quickly. With that he was off and half way up the stairs before she realised he'd gone.

"Peter?" "Peter?!" she exclaimed, flying down the hallway to him and almost chasing him up the stairs. He was in their bedroom before she made it to him and she saw his back, pulling a fresh shirt out of the wardrobe.

"What happened?" Her question was quieter, really starting to think it was terrible news. For a second, Chummy wondered whether she would feel worse for herself or him if it was. Walking over, she saw him reach for the top shelf in the wardrobe and pull down a cardigan.

Peter knew where she was and felt her palm smooth from his shoulder blade to the base his spine and rest there. Slowly he turned around and walked past her again, putting the shirt and jumper down on the bed. It was time it seemed. "Camilla…sit down".

Her heart dropped. That was it them. _Over._ No more. No Sierra Leone. No dream. No battles to be won together. No joy.

Chummy sat carefully down, cautious to avoid the sleeve of his crisply ironed shirt. She did feel awful and not one scrap of it was sorrow for herself; only him and it became worse when he took up her hands.

His face was grave and she watched as he rubbed his thumb over the knuckles of her left hand and she felt her wedding ring shift under his fingertips. Peter took a breath and his head shot up.

"When we talked about going", he began, frowning in concentration. "I did wonder how you might feel if we couldn't. For any old reason; just if we _couldn't_ ".

"It doesn't matter" Chummy responded quickly. "I'll just file it in the 'never quite meant to be' cabinet". She wasn't going without him and she hoped he knew that. She saw him nod his head carefully, still not looking her in the eye, digesting her response and wondering how to say it. "Peter, please tell me…Whatever it is… _please_ don't exclude me".

Those words should have been a signal to him. Peter let go of her hands and took a piece of paper out of his trouser pocket, carefully unfolding it and, before he passed it to her, folded it back again. It was just to make sure the words were right and she took it up.

Chummy straightened her back and she knew her eyes were starting to water. As much as she might have said silly things about cabinets and it not mattering, but now faced with the ultimate, she knew it was over. A tear rolled down her cheek before she could stop it, swiping it away with her hand as it almost slid off her chin.

Before she could look, his hand went down flat on hers; stopping her looking at the typed paper. "I didn't mean to upset you" Peter began, taking a deep breath. "I was only trying to tease you". At last he looked up; feeling bad. "I got that wrong too".

 _'_ _Tease you'_

'Tease me?' Chummy asked, his words sinking in. She hadn't even read what was in his letter. "So…" she continued, trying to contain the sudden swing of emotions, "so, that means…?"

"I'd better go and get myself a passport really", Peter smiled, seeing her face brighten as she quickly opened up the paper. It was his official certificate to say he was suitable and the words were in black and white in front of her. It was happening!

"Tease me?" she said at last, recovering her voice. "Tease me?!"

Chummy put the paper down on his fresh shirt and by the look on her face Peter knew it was in trouble. He knew it was a bad idea knowing how much it meant to her but something took him over the moment he saw her hanging on his every word. He hadn't expected that teardrop though.

"I just thought…" he began. No, no, no. Wrong words. "I just thought…" No, still wrong.

"Peter" she began flatly. "It doesn't matter".

"Doesn't it?" he asked, feeling guilty for trying to raise a smile and failing miserably.

"No" she replied, shaking her head. "Not at all." She _was_ smiling from ear to ear now. "Because we're actually going aren't we?" Her voice was incredulous, excited and just a touch apprehensive all in one.

"We.. are…"

"Actually going" she finished off for him, the words being processed slowly in her head as she threw her arms around his neck. _"We are actually going to Sierra Leone!"_ Right at that moment she had never known happiness quite like it.

Little did she know there was another surprise just around the corner and that would bring her more joy than a trip to Sierra Leone ever could. More joy than a passed fitness test or a satisfied dream could ever do.


End file.
